Gratitude

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."                - Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

A few years ago I had a friend who took great delight in the harrassment of waiters in nice restaurants.  I don't know why.  I don't know when the obsession started.  I only know that going to a restaurant with this woman was an uncomfortable event.

When the waiter brought the menus, the first assault was launched with a barrage of questions.  How long have you been in business?  Do you change the menu often?  Do you use frozen or fresh?  After a short interrogation, the waiter was allowed to retreat.  In her defense the woman always harrassed with a big smile.

Ordering was another opportunity.  Questions would fly about how dishes were prepared, details of ingredients, various options and alterations, etc.  The poor waiter would finally leave with our orders but also struggle with a heavy load of menu alterations.  The order pad would sometimes look like a legal brief.  Sadly, the waiter could not hope to comply with all the little amendments that had been made.  Often, this smiling, sadistic woman would call the overwhelmed waiter back for one last modification.  Woe be to the new or unprepared waiter.

When the order was delivered, this normally civilized woman would complain about the mistakes, fuss about the seasonings, change orders, and send dishes back.  It was a classic coup de grace delivered with another smile. When it was all over, the waiter and the rest of us at the table were exhausted, but she was enjoying herself immensely.  In her defense, this restaurant terrorist always left a good tip to cover the entertainment, and she always left with a smile.

The term coup de grace means “stroke of grace” referring originally to a merciful stroke putting a fatally wounded person out of his misery.  How kind and thoughtful?  It would have been such a merciful thing to do for the waiter, but the woman never put one out of his misery. 

The average human being is amazingly complex.  We are rarely grateful even when we say we are.  We love to grouse and complain.  We love to point out flaws.  Most of us love to stir things up.  Most human beings are not as obvious than the restaurant bully, but I think we are rarely grateful.

My dog never complains about the menu.  He is always ready for a walk.  He likes my company even when I am not very good at it.  Jack would never bite me, but humans have.  They can be vicious, and I have the scars to prove it. 

Perhaps we should create some new signs warning "Beware:  Vicious Human" and sell them.  Perhaps there is a market.  I know I would rather face a vicious dog any day.  How about you?