"We think boys are rude, unsensitive animals but it is not so in all cases. Each boy has one or two sensitive spots, and if you can find out where they are located you have only to touch them and you can scorch him as with fire." - Mark Twain's Autobiography
I think it is time to rise to the defense of a boy's right to be a boy. It seems to me that the world today is not a boy's world anymore. As a boy growing up in Tennessee, I remember free and unfettered summers. I remember roaming the woods, climbing trees to my heart's content, and doing boy things.
Today the world is much more restricted. Boys have to be kept in sight at all times. Boys must be supervised. School, soccer practice, and swimming lessons are all closely supervised. Pick-up games seem to be a relic of the past. Where is the free time? Where are the lazy days when a boy could just follow his nose?
I mourn the passing of the boy's world. So much of life today including school is not geared to boys. School is much more attuned to a girl than to a boy. Girls perform better in school. The whole pace of school is more feminine than masculine. Educators are becoming concerned. Psychologists are trying desperately to find a cure for what ailes our boys, and our boys are in trouble. Just look at college and university enrollments. Just look at graduate schools. Overall our young women are doing better educationally than our young men. This does not bode well for the future.
We seem to have lost our ability to understand boys. Yesterday, this was illustrated on the Today Show. Co-anchor Savannah Guthrie on Monday interviewed a Boy Scout named Jared from Salt Lake City. Jared survived being lost in the wilderness by building a lean-to and covering himself with dirt at night. Jared's quick thinking and physicality are amazing. He is an example of all that makes a boy great.
As an interviewer, she should have known better. Savannah Guthrie is intelligent. She is a former White House reporter. She has a law degree, but this woman knows absolutely nothing about a boy. She knows nothing about the fragile heart of a boy. At the end of the interview about his ordeal Savannah asked, "Did you cry Jared?"
The Boy Scout said, "Yes." He admitted on national television that he cried. What a horrible question for a twelve-year-old boy! This is the most embarrassing thing you can ask a boy. He will not understand the question. Savannah, your question shamed him. On the other hand, this is a question very suitable for a girl. Girls are all about feelings. A Girl Scout would have understood and responded without trauma. Jared was reminded that he lives in a world not his own. In this restricted world of parents and teachers and coaches, Jared has little room to be a boy.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Traveling in Hannibal
“I have found out there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” - Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer Abroad
A tour group from West Tennessee had booked the Planters Barn Theater yesterday. They came through the door like a breath of fresh air. They entered the theater smiling, and they left laughing. A very responsive audience, their laughter crackled in the stage lights, and it was clear they enjoyed themselves completely. I would be happy to travel with that group from Brantley Tours any day.
On the other hand, I have encountered a mystery during my time in the Hannibal tourism business. Some people on vacation are miserable. Over the years I have seen those frowning tourists looking for some reason to complain. When I met a couple on Main Street last summer, the husband immediately complained, "This is false advertising. We came here expecting great things, but there's nothing to do." I pulled out a Hannibal brochure and pointed out all the things to do, and I asked, "Did you go to the Convention & Visitors Bureau?" They had not. I asked, "Did you look through the brochures?" They had not. I inquired if they had made any plans before leaving home. They had not. This couple was standing on Main Street in America's Home Town with museums, two caves, a riverboat, the Mark Twain Himself stage show, shopping, numerous restaurants and antiquing opportunities. Sadly, they had absolutely nothing to do.
Unhappy travelers might even turn gold nuggets into dirt clods. This husband and wife were snapping at each other and complaining about everything. Walking away from a dark cloud of unhappiness, I wondered why they left home. Mr. and Mrs. Brown had traveled three hundred miles, had spent money to get here, had invested in lodging, had done lots of right things, but it was all wrong. They hoped to enjoy Missouri, but instead they found themselves in the state of Misery.
Some travelers do it all with style. Last week, a mother with teenagers in tow explained, "We are here for only three days, and I don't know if we will get to do everything. We are having so much fun. This is just great!" The five faces were all smiles. What a difference attitude makes!
Monday to Friday, I meet with tourists at the Mark Twain Museum for a Q&A session with Mark Twain Himself. This is lots of fun for me and the guests who come. I meet visitors from all over the world. One day this week I met a group of about 25 Japanese students. Just this week I have had folks from England, Germany, Australia, India, New Zealand, and Finland.
I walk down Main Street to the museum each afternoon about 2 o'clock. Again, the difference in attitude is striking. Some folks enjoy the experience of running into "Mark Twain". They laugh and take photos and interact. One day a man saw me coming and snapped, "Come on Ethel, let's go over to the other side of the street. He may want money." I was shocked. Here we are in Hannibal, Missouri, Mark Twain's boyhood home, and some do not want to interact with an actor playing Mark Twain. I receive emails saying the meeting was one of the great experiences of their vacation, others cross the street and frown.
Perhaps we should all be reminded from time to time of Helen Keller's observation,
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Washington Charade
...a man's first duty is to his own conscience and honor; the party and country come second to that, and never first.
- Mark Twain, a Biography
I have received numerous phone calls, emails, and facebook posts since my last blog. It is satisfying to know that I have been able to open minds to the current political circus. I think it would serve us all to step back, take off our party loyalties, and do some real thinking. If you will think for yourself, the charade crumbles. When you scrape away the gilded facade and tear down the Washington stage set, you will only find a group of children playing at government.
We can always expect children to be self-centered. We can expect them to live in the moment only. We can expect them to be naive about the world. Adults, however, may be expected to sacrifice for others. We might expect adults to plan and work for the future good. We also might expect adults to have some practical experience perhaps even wisdom.
Unfortunately, in Washington over the past days we have seen a horrifying display of extreme childishness. We have seen political children. The current crop of politicians may have degrees and resumes, but they are children. The most telling accusation of all is that they show no leadership. For many reasons adults must lead. Today, these so-called leaders of the United States of America do not know what the word means.
It is true the 535 members of the senate and congress cannot all be leaders, but somewhere in the halls somebody needs to step up. President Obama is supposed to lead. He is willing to sit back, let others place proposals on the table, and then shot them down. The President is supposed to put the proposals on the table. It's his job. He controls the agenda. Where is our Presidential leadership these days?
The Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate are supposed to lead. Where is any evidence of real leadership? The party leaders are expected to step up. Where are they? They may try to act like leaders and pose for photos like leaders, but real leadership cannot be faked. Now that we face a crisis the charade is falling apart before our eyes.
Every cloud has a silver lining. The silver lining may be the opportunity to see our politicians for what they really are. Perhaps we need to select our leaders more carefully. Maybe choosing adults with a little wisdom could be helpful.
In the final analysis it all boils down to this--we have a government filled with children. They may be forty, fifty, sixty, or eighty years old, but they are children. Where are the adults? Where are the men and women we need in 2011? Our future may depend on finding them.
- Mark Twain, a Biography
I have received numerous phone calls, emails, and facebook posts since my last blog. It is satisfying to know that I have been able to open minds to the current political circus. I think it would serve us all to step back, take off our party loyalties, and do some real thinking. If you will think for yourself, the charade crumbles. When you scrape away the gilded facade and tear down the Washington stage set, you will only find a group of children playing at government.
We can always expect children to be self-centered. We can expect them to live in the moment only. We can expect them to be naive about the world. Adults, however, may be expected to sacrifice for others. We might expect adults to plan and work for the future good. We also might expect adults to have some practical experience perhaps even wisdom.
Unfortunately, in Washington over the past days we have seen a horrifying display of extreme childishness. We have seen political children. The current crop of politicians may have degrees and resumes, but they are children. The most telling accusation of all is that they show no leadership. For many reasons adults must lead. Today, these so-called leaders of the United States of America do not know what the word means.
It is true the 535 members of the senate and congress cannot all be leaders, but somewhere in the halls somebody needs to step up. President Obama is supposed to lead. He is willing to sit back, let others place proposals on the table, and then shot them down. The President is supposed to put the proposals on the table. It's his job. He controls the agenda. Where is our Presidential leadership these days?
The Speaker of the House and the President of the Senate are supposed to lead. Where is any evidence of real leadership? The party leaders are expected to step up. Where are they? They may try to act like leaders and pose for photos like leaders, but real leadership cannot be faked. Now that we face a crisis the charade is falling apart before our eyes.
Every cloud has a silver lining. The silver lining may be the opportunity to see our politicians for what they really are. Perhaps we need to select our leaders more carefully. Maybe choosing adults with a little wisdom could be helpful.
In the final analysis it all boils down to this--we have a government filled with children. They may be forty, fifty, sixty, or eighty years old, but they are children. Where are the adults? Where are the men and women we need in 2011? Our future may depend on finding them.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Immaturity in Washington
"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can." - Mark Twain, What Is Man?
"...the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes."
- Mark Twain, Letter fragment, 1891
Over the past weeks I have watched Washington with great interest. I have always been a fan of politics and history. Since the age of nine, I have been a political animal. I love debate and the exchange of ideas. I love reading about politicians who move beyond politics to statesmanship. My heroes are those men and women who were willing to risk everything for the country. President Kennedy's book Profiles in Courage has many examples.
With this background the circus we see in Washington in the summer of 2011 is sickening. I have struggled to make sense of the circus acts we see each day. And make no mistake it is a three ring circus. As soon as the President, a senator, or a congress person enters the ring, they start their act. They are playing to the crowd and looking for applause. Everybody tries to outdo the last act. It has been a shameless, embarrassing display of all that's wrong in 2011.
Mark Twain once said, "Get your facts straight; then you may distort them as much as you please." This summer no one bothers with facts. No one has his or her facts straight. I watch video of the proceedings in complete amazement as I hear lie after lie, distortion after distortion, misrepresentation after misrepresentation. And our so-called leaders do it without embarrassment.
I am sick of the whole group. I am absolutely disgusted with both Democrats and Republicans. Just this week I finally realized what bothered me so much about the whole mess--our political leaders are immature brats. They act just like my high school students used to act in the cafeteria before a food fight. When they are fourteen and ready to throw a pad of butter at another student, one can understand. When they are forty and ready to risk the economy of the world to score political points, we cannot and must not forgive.
I have seen mature fourteen-year-old students. I have seen fifty-year-old children. Our nation's capital is filled with immature men and women posing as leaders. Many of them are privileged brats who have had all the advantages, attended the best schools, were swept up into a brilliant career, and ended their rise to fame in Washington. They clean up great and look good on camera, but they are whining, irresponsible, selfish children. It is hard to find an adult among them.
From the President to the Senate to the House we are in trouble. In the summer of 2011 the inmates are truly running the asylum.
"...the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes."
- Mark Twain, Letter fragment, 1891
Over the past weeks I have watched Washington with great interest. I have always been a fan of politics and history. Since the age of nine, I have been a political animal. I love debate and the exchange of ideas. I love reading about politicians who move beyond politics to statesmanship. My heroes are those men and women who were willing to risk everything for the country. President Kennedy's book Profiles in Courage has many examples.
With this background the circus we see in Washington in the summer of 2011 is sickening. I have struggled to make sense of the circus acts we see each day. And make no mistake it is a three ring circus. As soon as the President, a senator, or a congress person enters the ring, they start their act. They are playing to the crowd and looking for applause. Everybody tries to outdo the last act. It has been a shameless, embarrassing display of all that's wrong in 2011.
Mark Twain once said, "Get your facts straight; then you may distort them as much as you please." This summer no one bothers with facts. No one has his or her facts straight. I watch video of the proceedings in complete amazement as I hear lie after lie, distortion after distortion, misrepresentation after misrepresentation. And our so-called leaders do it without embarrassment.
I am sick of the whole group. I am absolutely disgusted with both Democrats and Republicans. Just this week I finally realized what bothered me so much about the whole mess--our political leaders are immature brats. They act just like my high school students used to act in the cafeteria before a food fight. When they are fourteen and ready to throw a pad of butter at another student, one can understand. When they are forty and ready to risk the economy of the world to score political points, we cannot and must not forgive.
I have seen mature fourteen-year-old students. I have seen fifty-year-old children. Our nation's capital is filled with immature men and women posing as leaders. Many of them are privileged brats who have had all the advantages, attended the best schools, were swept up into a brilliant career, and ended their rise to fame in Washington. They clean up great and look good on camera, but they are whining, irresponsible, selfish children. It is hard to find an adult among them.
From the President to the Senate to the House we are in trouble. In the summer of 2011 the inmates are truly running the asylum.
Monday, July 4, 2011
A Better Man
"All I care to know is that a man is a human being---that is enough for me; he can't be any worse. I can get right down and grovel with him." -Mark Twain's Notebook
Mr. Twain, that's alright for men, but what about women? Are women human beings or another species altogether? This has been debated by men for thousands of years. It all started when when Eve came around that boulder with her new hat and Adam said, "You are absolutely beautiful, but who in the world are you?"
Men are always a little puzzled by women. Sometimes they are a lot puzzled. In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson, who plays a writer, is just leaving the publisher. The young female receptionist asks Nicholson a question.
Receptionist:
“How do you write women so well?”
Nicholson:
“I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
Based on my last blog about manners, a friend suggested that I am a better man than my wife. I am. I always have been and always will be. In this one area I excel. I am a better man than Patricia. In all other areas I retire from the field.
For example, woman are much better at apologies. Men always hem and haw and look ridiculous. Women just come right out and say, "I am so sorry I hit you with that brick. I was mistaken. You looked like a terrorist at the time, and you scared me. You shouldn't scare people. Now that I see you are harmless and a little pitiful looking, I regret my rashness. You must forgive me and come over for fried chicken on Sunday evening." What can the poor man say?
Like all men, I grovel with you.
Mr. Twain, that's alright for men, but what about women? Are women human beings or another species altogether? This has been debated by men for thousands of years. It all started when when Eve came around that boulder with her new hat and Adam said, "You are absolutely beautiful, but who in the world are you?"
Men are always a little puzzled by women. Sometimes they are a lot puzzled. In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson, who plays a writer, is just leaving the publisher. The young female receptionist asks Nicholson a question.
Receptionist:
“How do you write women so well?”
Nicholson:
“I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
Based on my last blog about manners, a friend suggested that I am a better man than my wife. I am. I always have been and always will be. In this one area I excel. I am a better man than Patricia. In all other areas I retire from the field.
For example, woman are much better at apologies. Men always hem and haw and look ridiculous. Women just come right out and say, "I am so sorry I hit you with that brick. I was mistaken. You looked like a terrorist at the time, and you scared me. You shouldn't scare people. Now that I see you are harmless and a little pitiful looking, I regret my rashness. You must forgive me and come over for fried chicken on Sunday evening." What can the poor man say?
Like all men, I grovel with you.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Don't Mind My Manners
"It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners. But drowning would help." -Mark Twain
We are enjoying National Tom Sawyer Days here on the banks of the mighty Mississippi River. Once a year the internationally famous boyhood home of Sam Clemens, aka Mark Twain, celebrates the July 4 weekend with an old-fashioned, rip-roaring festival.
The Hannibal-Cannibal Walk Run was off and running early this morning with a boom. Runners filled the streets and watchers filled the sidewalks. Over the next two days we will have frog jumping, fence painting, carnival rides, a generous portion of fair food, and, of course, the parade and fireworks on Monday. Eager citizens descend on the historic district featuring lots of attractions and very few parking spots. Every nook and cranny of downtown is filled with food carts and carnival rides. The whole front of my theater is blocked with food carts and pickup trucks.
National Tom Sawyer Days is an amazing display of human nature. Like Tom Sawyer in the book, many visitors leave their manners at home. Since many of our usual tourist crowd stay away during the weekend, our audience always changes. Yesterday as I walked into the theater getting ready for my show, someone shouted "You're the fake Mark Twain." I was shocked. Of course, I am an actor playing a part. I know and everyone knows that I am not Mark Twain, but most of my guests keep those comments to themselves. It is also the only time of the year we always have people enter the theater, ask about ticket prices, and leave in a huff. We try to make sure they understand we are not the Twain Penny Arcade.
Yesterday, one of my American flags made in China and shipped halfway across the world for display on my old theater was stolen. It is a little like stealing a Gideon Bible from a Motel 6. Stealing an American flag on Main Street in Hannibal, Missouri, is just bad manners. What is Main Street coming to? Don't worry I'm a cynic. I always keep an extra flag or two on hand during the July 4 festivities. This is not my first Tom Sawyer rodeo.
Perhaps you are thinking my manners might be in danger. Don't worry my manners are safe. When a man offended me today, I picked up a brick and hit him on the head. Not really, that was on the inside. I only hit him in my mind. On the outside I demonstrated restraint and civility. On the inside I seethed. On the outside I found a spot to cool off. It was air-conditioned. Now that I have calmed down, I can see that the brick was perhaps wrong. Perhaps, my manners are improving. I hope so.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Patriotism
"The highest form of patriotism is irreverence." --Mark Twain
As we approach the Independence Day festivities, it might be productive to think a little about patriotism. For many Americans patriotism is going to Home Depot and purchasing a flag for the front porch. For others, it is standing in Busch Stadium holding your red Cardinal's cap as you sing "Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light . . ." Others celebrate their patriotism with a parade, a picnic, or an old-fashioned fireworks display over the Mississippi River.
These are all outward displays of patriotic fervor. They are valid ways of showing allegiance to the United States, but I think it is important to note that patriotism is also about our thoughts and ideals. It is about what we individually bring to the patriotic table. It's about what is inside.
As Americans, one of the most important things we can bring to Independence Day is independence. Free people have to have to same attitude that led to our independence. American patriotism has never been to a person or a party. Americans have always loathed the adulation of Hitler's followers and the followers of other dictators. Our loyalty has never been to George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, or Barack Obama. We pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
In this regard Mark Twain is right. Irreverence is the highest form of patriotism. Americans should hate political campaigns as they are currently conducted. We should demand that less attention be placed on what kind of ice cream the candidate prefers and more attention on the candidate's views and policies. We should value our humorists and comedians who make us laugh at politicians. Stupid political behavior should always be laughed into oblivion. No person in American government should be respected any more than the respect he or she has earned. Laughter makes us all equal in America.
In a government of, by, and for the people, irreverence is absolutely essential. On this July 4 holiday, let's have more good, old-fashioned American irreverence. Let's laugh at the political circus coming to town. Let's laugh at the huge political egos in Washington. Let's turn our laughter on both the Democrats and Republicans. Let's laugh next week. It protects us all.
As we approach the Independence Day festivities, it might be productive to think a little about patriotism. For many Americans patriotism is going to Home Depot and purchasing a flag for the front porch. For others, it is standing in Busch Stadium holding your red Cardinal's cap as you sing "Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light . . ." Others celebrate their patriotism with a parade, a picnic, or an old-fashioned fireworks display over the Mississippi River.
These are all outward displays of patriotic fervor. They are valid ways of showing allegiance to the United States, but I think it is important to note that patriotism is also about our thoughts and ideals. It is about what we individually bring to the patriotic table. It's about what is inside.
As Americans, one of the most important things we can bring to Independence Day is independence. Free people have to have to same attitude that led to our independence. American patriotism has never been to a person or a party. Americans have always loathed the adulation of Hitler's followers and the followers of other dictators. Our loyalty has never been to George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, or Barack Obama. We pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
In this regard Mark Twain is right. Irreverence is the highest form of patriotism. Americans should hate political campaigns as they are currently conducted. We should demand that less attention be placed on what kind of ice cream the candidate prefers and more attention on the candidate's views and policies. We should value our humorists and comedians who make us laugh at politicians. Stupid political behavior should always be laughed into oblivion. No person in American government should be respected any more than the respect he or she has earned. Laughter makes us all equal in America.
In a government of, by, and for the people, irreverence is absolutely essential. On this July 4 holiday, let's have more good, old-fashioned American irreverence. Let's laugh at the political circus coming to town. Let's laugh at the huge political egos in Washington. Let's turn our laughter on both the Democrats and Republicans. Let's laugh next week. It protects us all.
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